Friday, August 22, 2008
So, as I was about to drift off during my daily nap, I had a thought. Right now, it is ridiculously hot and humid where I live. I feel like I have to hack through the air with a very large knife or a machete just to get to the car. It's crazy. Well, with weather like this and good hygiene habits, one (like me) has a tendency to shower more than once a day, just to keep up with the sweating and all that. And, by the way, anyone who doesn't sweat in this kind of weather is utterly amazing and your genes need to be studied at length so that the non-sweaty gene can be isolated and spliced into my DNA, but I digress. So, I was also thinking about how people are prone to hyperbole and outright lies and say things like, "I've taken like 20 showers today, it's so hot outside," and the like when they did not, in actuality, take anywhere near 20 showers that day. So, if you are still on the train of thought with me, here was my thought before I almost drifted into napland before I decided that sharing this particular idea was more important than a second nap for me today: Could I possibly take 20 five minute long showers in one day? I'm thinking through the logistics now, like what exactly constitutes a shower...is it just standing under a running faucet or do you actually have to clean something in the process? If you do have to clean something in the process, how would I break down my body parts to allow for something different to be cleaned in each of the 20 showers of that day? I feel that constantly getting dressed and disrobing in order to shower 20 times in one day would take up a considerable amount of time so it would be best to just hang out in my pjs or a robe for the day, which is generally antithetical to the reason why people usually spend the day in their jammies or a robe. Another question that just occurred to me...since I'll essentially just be hopping into and out of the shower all day, will my fingers prune up slowly over time or will they prune up early on and just stay that way throughout the day? Also, is one to two minutes between showers sufficient time for it to constitute two distinct showers or is that just a continuation of one shower? If it is just a continuation, then how long do I have to wait between each shower for it to constitute its own distinct shower? Before I launch into this experiment into cleanliness (borderline Howard Hughesian cleanliness but I'm not wealthy enough to be eccentric...just weird), I need to tease out the answers to the above questions and get everything worked up logistically. I'll be earth friendly and take every shower with a big bucket and use the water to flush the toilets and water the plants for the next week and I only use all natural soaps so no polluting that way. But anyway...jump on the train of thought with me and help me to become that person who isn't full of crap when they say "I took twenty showers today...it was so hot out."