Thursday, December 20, 2007

Good idea. Bad idea.

Good idea: Preparing for the holidays and getting all your shopping or knitting or creating done by October, at the latest.
Bad idea: Waiting until the last minute to do any of the above stated things thus causing you to want to do nothing more than lie flat on your back, mouth open, under the spigot of a box of wine until you either choke or become drunk enough that it doesn't matter.

Good idea: Preparing to move by packing boxes and giving away all the stuff you don't want anymore at least two weeks in advance of the move.
Bad idea: Procrastinating and waiting until the week before you move to do any packing or eliminating of stuff thus causing you to want to do nothing more than eat some big slices of Xanax pie in order to help you pretend that the house will pack itself and purge any items it knows you no longer want or need.

Good idea: Being 100% certain that Google maps is lying to you when it shows you an aerial, satellite view of your soon to be new residence and, according to the map, says you are moving into a beautiful, three-bedroom shrub with a view of the water.
Bad idea: Trusting that Google maps is 100% incorrect when it shows you that your soon to be new residence is a lovely, three-bedroom shrub with a view of the water and celebrating the move into a larger domicile that is NOT a shrub by imbibing many vodka-based drinks.

Good idea: If you are, in fact, moving into a cozy, three-bedroom shrub, you begin to learn about topiary in order to maximize privacy during showering and sleepy time.
Bad idea: Insisting that Google maps is wrong and you are not, therefore, moving into a shrub so it is completely unnecessary to learn about topiary and it is also unnecessary to trouble yourself with things like pest control, the water table, or anything else that may befall your new shrub/home.

Good idea: Having more boxes than you need to pack up all the stuff that you have in your house.
Bad idea: Not having nearly enough boxes or packing material to pack up all the stuff you have in your house thus causing you to create unorthodox packing materials such as tablecloths, dishtowels, plastic grocery bags, tumbleweeds of carefully collected cat hair, etc.

Good idea: Packing your books into several small to medium sized boxes, no matter how many it takes, so that you can lift the boxes into the moving truck.
Bad idea: Loading as many books as you can into a 30 gallon, blue Rubbermaid tub that requires a forklift and at least a team of six strong oxen to move, let alone get it into the moving truck.

Good idea: Having a big, black permanent marker to clearly mark all your boxes so that your friends, moving buddies, moving men, what have you, plainly see what it is you have packed in those boxes, thus preventing possible disaster when well meaning friends stack a 350lb, blue Rubbermaid 30 gallon tub full of fiction books on top of your wine glasses.
Bad idea: Using whatever writing utensil is handy to scrawl the contents of the box in several inconspicuous places on the boxes in handwriting that drunk four year olds would chastise.

If any of you have any other good idea/bad idea things to add, please feel free. I'm hopefully making light of my current situation. I am 100% certain that I would be getting a lot more unorthodox packing done (as opposed to orthodox packing which, I'm sure, is done in the presence of a clergy member) if I decided not to blog but then what fun would that be for y'all?? You couldn't laugh with me or demonstrate to me that history repeats itself when we do this again next year. After all, our lease date for our new shrub starts on January 1 so, if we decide after living in the shrub for a year that it is not to our liking, we will be making another move at the exact same time. I hope your holiday preparations have been going well, my dear bloglings and blogettes. I'm going back in to the fray, armed with a box of wine and some Xanax pie smothered in a vodka-based sauce for good measure. Wish me luck!
Transmission Ended


Valerie said...

I want to add something witty and funny but honestly I think you covered just about everything. -=giggle=- I am sure I will think of something later though. Good Luck on your move and Merry Christmas hun. You should be getting a Ravelry email from me soon!

Sharon said...

I totally sympathize with your moving misfortunes at holiday time--sounds like no fun at all! But your post had me laughing my ass off. Don't worry, everything will all get sorted out. Or not, as in our case. We've lived here eleven years and there are still boxes of stuff. After awhile you start making like they aren't there.

Valerie said...

Where have you gone ? We miss you!